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Holyish Moses
Linda G.
I never wanted a man as bad as I wanted this one. More to the point, I never wanted a likeness of a man as much as this one. But this was neither an ordinary man nor an ordinary likeness. This was Moses. The Moses, the prophet who led my ancestors to the Promised Land.
Last summer, a bobblehead doll was created in Moses’ image and given away as a promotional item at a baseball game in Stockton. The game was followed by Faith Night, a combination religious revival meeting and Christian rock concert.
The prophet helped turn a profit as the Stockton Ports, a lower minor league affiliate of the Oakland A’s, had a rare sellout that night. Apparently, Faith Nights have been catching on all over the country, inspiring Christian fundamentalists to thump their bibles, rock on and, as one headline declared, “Pray Ball.”
These are the same fundamentalists who would have my Jewish lesbian head on a platter. So why in Jesus’ name would I be clamoring for a Faith Night bobblehead? Two reasons. No, three. I am a fan of baseball. I am a fan of pop culture. And I am a fan of bobbleheads.
I acquired Moses on eBay after religiously following an online auction for six days. On the seventh day, I did not rest. I jumped into the fray. I set a ridiculously high bidding limit and when that was exceeded by some other zealot, I re-set the limit until I won. To assuage my guilt at having spent so frivolously, I dashed off a check to the ACLU for the same amount as Moses cost me. Then I sat back in my desk chair, grinning the grin of a winner, and eagerly awaiting his arrival.
He did not disappoint. Though only six-and-a-half inches tall and made of plaster, Moses imposes. He has a big gray beard and bright white teeth. He sports a fetching salmon-colored toga trimmed in pink, with a headband to match. (Moses has long hair from wandering in the desert for forty years without a haircut, and the headband is a necessity.) He is holding two tablets containing Commandments One through Five in his right arm, Six through Ten in his left. Around his ankles is a friendly serpent of green and yellow, the colors of the Oakland A’s. Moses’ feet are shod in primordial Birkenstocks. In front of his toes is a little placard that reads “Brock Construction,” the generous sponsor of the Ports’ Faith Night. And the prophet stands on a half-inch-tall pedestal, on which is painted his name, all in capital letters: MOSES.
I am not a religious woman, but I’m coming close to revering Moses. I take him with me to my computer when I write; he is bobbling his encouragement at this very moment. I bring him back into the living room when I read or watch TV. I think about him when I go to sleep or when I am away; and when I conjure up his graven image, a peaceful smile emerges from deep within me.
He has only been here a short while, but I doubt my rapture will wear off anytime soon. If I find myself seeking a single place to display him, it will not be among my dozen or so more pedestrian bobbleheads. I will find a special place for Moses because he is a special bobblehead.
Delighted as I am with the prophet, I do not support the Stockton Ports’ Christian right-ness. The money I spent on Moses went neither to the team nor the sponsor of Faith Night. It went instead to the only person clever enough to sell the bobblehead; “whatacharacter” was her eBay moniker. Like I said, I am a fan of baseball, of pop culture and of bobbleheads. I am one of the faithful.
Bio & Past Articles
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Betty's List Linda's A-Musings'
Columnist Linda Gebroe.
Linda Gebroe brings more than two decades of professional experience to her role as writer, editor, publications manager and communications consultant. Since 1987, she has owned and operated Gebroe Communications Services, a business that has helped scores of organizations communicate with a variety of audiences and markets.
As a sole practitioner, Linda has been able to do what she loves most, which is writing. Her work has been published in the San Francisco Chronicle, San Francisco Magazine, and the San Jose Mercury-News, and been aired on KQED-FM, San Franciscos National Public Radio station. A lifelong baseball fan, Linda has also written for the Sporting News, and for the San Francisco Giants and Oakland Athletics magazines.
You can reach Linda at lgebroe@comcast.net. Or visit her web site: http://www.lindagebroe.com
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