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Special Note: Scroll down and see the entries below. The most recent is the first you'll see, and the earlier ones are on down. You are welcome to reply by e-mail to: BettyS@bettyslist.com.
The Betty Blog Anthem: "There's No Letter Better Than B" performed by The Dixie Chicks.
"Characters" mentioned in multiple entries: Miss Louise, Betty's mom now deceased; Pop, father now deceased; Stan, big brother; Liz, daughter; John, son-in-law; Audrey, first partner & Liz's other mommy; Tonda, second partner; Sherrye Garrett, colleague, business partner & friend; Margie Adam, singer/songwriter; Barb Rush, longtime friend and co-founder of the "Party Women"; "Tha Girls," Dixie Chicks: Emily Robison, Martie Mcguire, Natalie Maines; Mary Juanita, childhood best friend; Ed Brownson, tech consultant & confidant; Kathleen McGuire & Tha Guys, Artistic Directory/Conductor San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus and the 200 guys who do what she tells them; David Perry, PR guru; Miss Frances & Louie-the-Great, attack cats guarding this site.
(Photos 1 & 3: Cynthia Lee Katona)Barefootin'
April 1, 2009
Barefootin’
'Tis April Fool’s when the St. Stupid’s Day Parade happens every year in San Francisco’s Financial District – another reason, perhaps, why we do live here . . .
But . . . I do not love April, not anything like October. April is my Birthday Month, nonetheless, and time has come to plan at least a week of birthday celebrations.
Miss Louise, when best friend Mary and I were kids, would give us her green light so we could go barefoot on April 1st. ‘Twas thus then and shall ever be. April 1st. Barefoot.
By mid-summer, Mary and I could and did run across the rocks up the gravel road with no need for shoes. But not on the 1st day of April. We were reminded every year . . . we were just tenderfoots with tender feet. No hope of running on the gravel in early Spring, yet hope still springs eternal this day every year. Miss Louise is turning over about typos and grammar . . . I know this to be true.
Dr. Leon has gifted me a CD of himself singing gospel tunes. I listened to it yesterday. I listened to it all the way through while driving down to San Jose. His voice is a melodious and mature one now. I like it better than I did when he sang for us in high school. I have not heard him sing for . . . well, shall we say, several decades, but I’ve always loved that he is by, for and about music.
Dr. Leon begins his CD with a spoken essay about “home” and what it means going back to Rawhide, his family’s ranch there in central Mississippi where we grew up. He talks about going home or coming home as a source of solace and recalls his peaceful walks in the woods.
Among all the tunes in the collection on the CD, that perennial favorite “How Great Thou Art” struck me as most familiar and one I could sing along with, passing the Menlo Park and Palo Alto exits on California Highway 101, going on down the peninsula freeway in LaLa Land. Yes, I confess to singing gospel tunes once more here in LaLa Land.
I have learned the difference between freeway and expressway, the former being in California and the latter in New York. Both, however, can be extended parking lots. I have also learned the difference between singing gospel songs because you are serious and singing gospel songs for the pure joy of the musicology, the lore, regionalisms and culture . . . dare I say "southern culchah" or the appreciation thereof.
Dr. Leon might come to visit this year to check out the boys in the Castro. He complains with vigor when I do not write here about my memories of growing up. Perhaps this entry will sufficeat least a while. There are no pumpkins to speak of this month, however, so I shall recount that today I learned while watching Matha Stewart on TV that the birthstone for April, the diamond, is a symbol for . . . innocence. I believe I have lost mine. Diamonds and innocence alike, that is. Martha's lost hers too, you say?
Dr. Leon is the man, my first grade sweetheart, I should have married him - after Liz’s father, of course but only because he is her father. I should have had Dr. Leno's children. It is too late now.
Thus, I am just waiting to be "Grand Betty" when I can reaffirm Miss Louise's grand tradition. I, too, shall then be telling kids it is okay. Go barefoot today. Feel the cool of young grass blades between your feet. So tender and new they are now, before becoming dusty, dry and hot with Summer heat there in the rich Delta cotton country.
 Photo Source Unknown Entered 10:30 PM
January's Come In with a Bang Thus Far . . .
January 27, 2009
January’s Come In with a Bang Thus Far . . .
And We've Five More Days Yet to Happen!
New Year’s Day found me battling severe laryngitis and a sore throat. Then, a round of antibiotics later, we’re on the go! Speaking of "go," those young women from GoGetYourGirlOn.com have joined "Betty's List" supporters and friends for so much fun . . . They have caused the fun. No, it wouldn't do to tell. My linguistics professor once smiled broadly telling us that the word "go" in English translated to Japanese means "come." Think on that for a while, will ya?
One week to the day into 2009 and we celebrated the first Ladies Night at Orson. Yes, Orson is the new home of our signature weekly event for women and their friends. This move was not one that I decided on quickly or easily given that MECCA has been a second home for six years. But year seven finds us joining Chef Elizabeth Falkner and her life/business partner Sabrina Riddle at their dynamite new restaurant Orson. The first two Ladies Nights at Orson have been outstanding and all bodes well for more, more, more! Yes, someday I will write my story of MECCA . . . and it will have to be one of those they call a "tell all." Geez . . . how I've love the good times there, now all gone.
Liz, my daughter, and her “other mommy” Audrey called at 3:00 AM (PST) on Tuesday morning, January 20th to let me know they were sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial awaiting the Inaugural of President Barack Obama. What a day for me - lover of historic events and live media coverage - watching the scenes on multiple TVs and web streaming too, direct from Washington, DC. The evening found me with friends at The Green Room on Van Ness Avenue at the War Memorial Building for the SF Democratic Party’s official Inaugural Party.
Two days later found me at Orson and then on to Ruby Skye for the annual Curve L-Word Premiere Issue Party where L-Word star rose Rollins (Tasha) and DJ Pat Pat from Miami plus go-go dancing girls got the crowd – including me –going, going, going . . . gone! A fun time was had by all! Yeah, we had fun in that festive atmosphere.
In other news, my boots are made for walking once more heading down to the Ferry Building and around about the Castro neighborhood too. One of those outings found me finding and claiming my first ever serious grown-up desk at the Under One Roof Sale at the old Tower Records store just up the street a bit and across Market. Todd, Cheryl and a good neighbor came to my rescue for the move and installation up a flight of San Francisco stairs. The damn thing is heavy. Let’s rephrase that. My lovely new elegant desk is quite well made and not easy to move around, especially not up a flight of San Francisco stairs!
And January has five more days to go yet! Go get your girl on . . .!
(Photo by Trish Tunney)
Entered 4:45 AM
Ladies Night @ Orson
January 9, 2009
Sometimes I Have to Pinch Myself and Ask Is This for Real . . . or
Could It Be that Orson Really Is a Girl?
I suppose we don't really know what's going to happen until it happens. Last night the love, support, good cheer and good-times-had-by-all by the 300+ who joined us at Orson for the first Ladies Night there in the new location . . . well, it blew my socks off . . . and I liked it. Yeah.
A huge room full of women and their friends, well, you all never cease to amaze me when I'm there looking at it happening and feeling gratitude and somehow wanting to say to someone, anyone, pinch me, is this for real?
Yeah, we sort of knew ahead of time that the vibe was right and the evening would be fun, but who knew? How could anyone really know that it would be huge and once again I would wish to jump over and help a cute bartender move the drinks along . . .
. . . She was saying how she had several orders "in my head" that she was working on, and how she would get to us just as soon as possible, and it was true how you knew in your heart of hearts that she meant that just as sure as she was there in front of you moving stuff around, working hard. And everybody was saying how no one knew the turnout would be more than twice what could have been anticipated.
The energy was high with a special vibe and everyone was understanding and gracious and excited and happy and congratulating Chef Elizabeth and Sabrina and me, too, and wow, there were women who came that I haven't seen in years. And several of my closest dear, dear friends were there in case I needed hot tea for my laryngitis or to be carried down the road for any or all of the reasons that might have been. And there were women there asking "Are you really Betty of 'Betty's List' . . .?" and that, you know, always evokes a chuckle. And on the way home, Cheryl and I were laughing so hard and so happy and making wrong turns in the streets like we'd come from somewhere we'd never been before or just liked the idea of riding around for a while.
Well, something inside me says now it is a "New Day"! and it's off to a new start and it's great to be in women's space where indeed, indeed "All are welcome!". . . all who are friends and friends of friends and . . . must always know the welcome part. Where, indeed, there's a wish to make sure that you are heard and being female, being a lesbian, being woman-centered, is a good thing after all. And, I was soooooooooo glad Michael came - in his Everyman kind of way - bringing those Michael kind of well wishes he has.
Yes, y'all do come . . . Orson . . . check it out. Enjoy the feast of the five senses. Stay tuned for more and yes, I'll make an effort - however inadequate it may be or impossible the task to grasp and explain - to record or capture the feel, the energy and my own deep sense of gratitude and smiles and smiles and smiles!
My own sense of how media - in all its manifestations - can be good and powerful and makes it possible to be in control of choices . . . and that high blown philosophical abstract stuff is lurking there at Orson somewhere in the subtle background of analysis and it's there in the architecture and demolition menu and in the end, the young bartender wins . . . wins hearts and minds . . . and in the end we are all so happy to have a place called Ladies Night, whatever that means, to gather and well, just be!
When it was all said and done as the evening waxed and waned, she paused shaking up some fancy drink, she smiled and said with no prompting from anyone anywhere, "Thank you for this . . . and see you next week . . . " or something like that.
And, I was reminded once more of talking with Kate Kendell earlier about how rewarding it is to see these fabulous young women emerging in our community as strong professionals and leaders and carriers of our culture. Why, they were there for sure . . . all over, and some of us more like me, we were basking in the glory of watching them and I, appreciative that while they are not our students, they always will be even as they are our friends and colleagues . . . there, in that great big beautiful space that has many parts to it where all are welcome that has much to look at and enjoy and feel and taste! That new space with a name straight out of cinematic lore . . .Orson . . . Why, well, why couldn't it be that Orson is a girl's name after all?
Okay, what about the Sexy's Back part? She was there too, Sexy, for real, all over the place with it's many, many sexy sections. Sexy's at Orson and is in all of us and she's gorgeous in her own right whomever and where ever she shows up and wants to be. It's good to be Sexy at Ladies Night, or not, just be who you are and well, quite frankly . . . be!
Photo by Cathy Blackstone, Special to "Betty's List"
 MORE PHOTOS - Link to additional photos from Jan. 8th, 2009 Ladies Night
Entered 1/9/09 3:00 AM
Olde Year Out, Adieu! Adieu! – Welcome Now The New! The New!
December 31, 2008
Olde Year Out, Adieu! Adieu! – Welcome Now The New! The New!
To the Olde Year, I say . . . So long! Farewell! So very glad that you are gone!
Yes, and we sure did accomplished a lot, in spite of ourselves.
To say 2008 was stressful is an understatement. Could I have lived it better? Yes, and the way would have been by exercising more and paying closer attention to nutrition and health matters. That’s my #1 observation . . .
Did good things happen? Oh, yes! And some of them have surely set the tone for future growth and new directions. There were a lot of good times with a lot of good friends, new friends and those who will become friends as time goes . . .
Favorite memories include a surprisingly pleasant ride on the Cal Train to South Bay one day, me the driver - not the passenger - with the top down to Guerneville for Russian River Women’s Weekend in May, hiking on my birthday at Point Reyes, Whitewater Rafting on the American River with Liz & Audrey on board, buying Halloween stuff at Fioli’s Gift Shop, celebrating Election Night aboard Roosevelt’s Yacht USS Potomac, the Ole Miss v LSU Football Game in Baton Rouge and exploring the road to and from Hana & a helicopter ride in Maui and renewing my membership in the 30,000 Foot Club.
How did we at “Betty’s List” keep ourselves occupied during the stressful year that was? There were a few things to do:
443 Messages sent to “Betty’s List” for an average of 1.2 per day
48 Ladies Nights on Thursdays
40 Segments for Comcast Out Spoken TV and Outlook Video
13 Book & Author Events @ Dolores Park Cafe with Rachel Herbert, Cynthia Katona & Annie Stuart
10 Smart Women Business Network Events with Catherine I. Pinkas
11 Events for Single Women (Connexions, ThirtySomethings and dinner at Nordstrom & The Rrazz Room, Valentines Dinner, Pride Dance, New Year’s Eve)
6 Ladies Go Biking Rides a locations throughout the Bay Area led by Kathleen McGuire & Patti Segarini
5 Booths or Info Tables at Exhibits & Festivals: Santa Cruz Pride, Dyke March, SF Pride, Castro St Fair, G/L Travel Expo
5 Benefits / Receptions: Young Artists, SF AIDS Ride, Catholic Charities HIV Support Group, SF Gay Men’s Chorus Catered by the Chorus, Under One Roof/New Leaf
4 Outdoor Adventures: Kayaking, Whitewater Rafting, Tidepooling & Sunset Sail
4 Groups to SF Gay Men’s Chorus Concerts & Music Reviews
2 Nordstrom Fashion Shows
2 Russian River Women’s Weekend and Music Festival Events
1 Fun Train to Reno with AAA Travel
1 San Francisco Pride Parade Contingent
Surely I have left something important off. I shall save this list to pull out when someone asks, as will inevitably happen, “What does ‘Betty’s List’do?”
What else did we do in 2008? Met thousands of new friends, contacts and colleagues! “Thousands” is not an overstatement, and it is incredibly hard to remember all the names. I should like to grow a new head just to keep up with it.
What’s coming for 2009? Ladies Night begins its 7th year with a new home at Orson, the new restaurant owned and operated by Chef Elizabeth Falkner and life/business partner Sabrina Riddle.
Catch Restaurant in the Castro is now the San Francisco home for Smart Women Business Network and sites are being selected for the South Bay and East Bay too.
Special events for single women will continue; and with organizer Don Spradlin, a new series of events, Society for Men, will be announced soon.
Wine events with compatriot Pam Truswell are on the horizon. Patti Segarini and Stephanie Vance continue the Ladies Go Biking leadership, and Annie Stuart, Judy Wenning and Rachel Herbert have their arms around our Book Club.
Unique collaborations are in the works with Curve Magazine and Go Get Your Girl On. More new partnerships will indeed emerge!
We have Outdoor Adventures on the calendar with Kim Powell/Blue Water Ventures and Women On A Roll, and more fun is being planned with AAA Travel, including trips to Reno, Paso Robles and Hawaii.
We have new Signature Sponsors for "Betty's List" soon to be appear on our website in the left side menu, and . . .
What else will the New Year bring? For me, exercise, exercise, exercise. Just have to do it. Just will do it. Yes, we can! The athlete within . . . she will, rise again!
(Photo by RINK, Special to "Betty's List")
Entered 5:00 AM 12/31/08
Gratitude & Wishes At Christmas Eve & Hanukkah
December 24, 2008
Gratitude & Wishes At Christmas Eve & Hanukkah
Today is Christmas Eve . . . a favorite day that brings for me fond memories of family times growing up down in the deep South, and also of more recent community times here in San Francisco for more than a decade.
As 2008 draws to a close, I am reminded once more of how grateful I am for the opportunity to live and work here in the Bay Area with its vibrant and diverse LGBT community.
And, in spite of frustrations coming during this past year, I am thankful for many good things on the horizon as a new day dawns and new opportunities abound . . .
Thus, this message is actually as much about gratitude as it is about memories, and it’s as much about looking forward as it is about wishing the old year anon.
To you, our subscribers and friends, only the words “Thank you!” will suffice, because we truly do appreciate you and you are with us each and every day! I personally thank you for your support for the work of “Betty’s List,” your support for the events and projects we announce and conduct, and your support for the relationships we foster in partnership with individuals, small business and large ones too . . . our sponsors and advertisers, our colleagues and compatriots.
Since 1996, we have strived to build connections here in the Bay Area, and now - actually more than a dozen years later - I am so grateful to have you in our “chosen family.” With 2009 will come change, but today we pause to appreciate a year coming to its close. Time . . . how it passes constantly, relentlessly, inevitably.
There are innumerable friends and supporters to whom we send gratitude and thanks. You all know who you are . . . and we are so blessed to know you!
Special thanks to our 2008 Signature Sponsors: AAA Travel Northern California, Nevada and Utah; Beth Hofffman/Alternative Mortgage Sources; Azure Restaurant San Carlos; Susan Adams/Lavender Liaisons; MECCA SF; Nordstrom; Catherine I. Pinkas/Sage Financial Network; and Nanette Miller/Stonefield-Josephson, Inc. Also, our sincere appreciation to each member of the “Betty’s List” Directory / Smart Women Business Network and to the myriad non-profit groups, businesses and individuals who have called on us for e-mail announcement services this year.
Thanks to thousands of you who have attended our events, and to the leaders, sponsors and featured guests of our Book Club, Ladies Go Biking and other special interest activities.
Thanks to those special volunteers who have co-chaired and/or led our Outdoor Adventures and to those too who have contributed content to our website. Thanks to all who have supported and participated in our Connexions and ThirtySomethings for Singles programs throughout 2008.
And, finally, thanks to those quiet and steady persons who have, behind the scenes, continued to stand by us and believe in our singular mission of community education and helping others to obtain, through various media channels, the information needed to be in control of one’s own life.
From here at the “Betty’s List” home base in the Castro, all of us on our team – including Kate, Alex, John, Juliet & Nikki, Melanie and Cheryl – we wish you and yours very Happy Holidays and Best Wishes for the New Year!
Dissenting Voices on Election Day
November 3, 2008
On This Election Day . . .
Sometimes Mine’s An Unpopular View
Tomorrow is Election Day, thank g-a-a-w-w-d, I say with emphasis as the best of drawling southern syllables turn one to twenty or so. ‘Tis been a long time coming and I still want Hillary. Maybe, though, I’m just getting use to the guy with the funny name and big ears. Maybe, though, I now know who Tina Fey is, when before I’d not even heard the name. Reminds me of discovering Natalie Maines and two other chicks standing one to either side, when before I’d not heard the name.
Yesterday, I was driving to an expressway entrance and watched the car in front of me pull over. In sort of like slow motion, I marveled as a young woman jumped out and grabbed up a sign. It was . . . no, she took the “Yes on 8” sign? She left the “No on 8” sign standing? How can this be, I asked, and saw her laugh out the widow. I saw her face there in the window as the car made a u-turn and swung off in the opposite direction.
I cringe and allow myself to admit hate toward that young woman and her driver, or at least toward what they’re doing. Did I do that? Like committing adultery in one’s heart . . . Jimmy Carter. Hate in the heart because they dared to quiet a voice. Even a voice they didn’t like. A voice that deserves to hear itself and be heard. No, I don’t want to hate, yet I have such distaste for those who acting out, wrong and unfair behavior.
I cannot but wonder if anyone feels badgered by this campaign. How many times have we been asked to give and give and give. But, good reason to give! What if you don’t have a damn thing to give but the guilt and sense of class illegitimacy engendered when those voices keep saying give, give and give, you give - with an assumption there is money in the pocket or the bank there that’s to give. Give, give, give . . . like an echo up and down a canyon, the canyon of my neighborhood.
I hope those voices will get quiet. Like the crazed Halloween tradition that had to be quieted. Those voices echoing around this town have penetrated my head, and I do hope the civil rights of my friends are protected, and still I am so tired of hearing about it. I am so tired of hearing them say “Give!” Not humane? Not rationale? Not allowed?
Not true. My father tried to quiet a voice, but the voice would not be quite. The dissenting voice must be heard and even yet respected.
Frankly, my dear, I could give a damn about marriage – or the word “lesbian” for that matter - and I can hardly fathom the craziness and the guilt-trips and the disparaging looks from those who can’t see the need for dissenting voice.
 Souce: pinknews (www.pinknews.co.uk
Halloween Revisited
(Note: "Miss Louise" refers to my mom, Callie Louise Knight Sullivan, who was a grammarian and scholar of British literature. - Betty)
October 31, 2005
Double, Double, Toil & Trouble . . . Shakespeare, Stonehenge and Miss Louise
She
loved fall "wood walks," teaching literature, presiding as head
librarian and polishing her antique school bell . . . an
antique long before she was.
Mightily, Miss Louise quoted Beowulf and The Canterbury Tales in the Old English original, . . . and she would speak her favorite Shakespearean lines with pride, confidence and vigor. The Witches Spell from Macbeth, Act IV, Scene I:
Witch 1. Round about the caldron go;
In the poison'd entrails throw . . .
Witch 2. . . .Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adders' fork, and blind-worms sting,
Lizards's leg, and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
All. Double, double toil and trouble,
Fire, burn; and, caldron bubble. . .
And then, she’d throw in the subsequent lines:
Witch 2. By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes.
@ No surprise, Miss Louise encouraged Mary and me to read Ray Bradbury’s book of the same title: Something Wicked This Way Comes,
first published in 1963 . . . just about in time for my
pre-adolescence. She made sure we had plenty to read, the school
library had multiple copies of top choices and that her students could
order numerous books from the monthly Scholastic Press paperback
flyer. Remember those?
So, I went looking for Mr. Bradbury online and sure enough, found photos, including a 2003 one of him on a visit to the Playboy Mansion . . . with Hef at his side. No matter the setting, I was pleased to see him still alive.
@ Then, I set off on a late night trail, forging for a site with the history of All Hallow’s Eve, and found one called simply October. . . Whereupon, on my screen came a Midwestern fellow and Acorn Press author, Mick Nichols (not the film director).
What led me to Mike is a page called simply October, with a list of links to pages with just about everything Halloween you’d ever want to know. Go there, by all means, and try a few. The link to Mike’s is first on the list, and this particular Mike Nichols,
it turns out, has for decades taught courses on witchcraft in Missouri
and Kansas. One knows they need it. He’s renown for both his expertise
in witchcraft and his popular site, The Witches Sabbats. Worth the trip. Mike’s "All Hallow’s Eve" brings an excellent overview, kicked off by a Bradbury quote from The Halloween Tree, another of Ray’s novels I favored in my youth.
@
The Celtic pagan elements co-opted by invading Christians upon reaching
the British Isles have long been a fascination, accompanying an
intuitive sense of ancestors dancing at Stonehenge. Those spirits
welcomed Tonda and me on an early 90s visit to Salisbury and Avebury.
(I'd promised to take Miss Louise to England, but she got sick and we
never did. So, that trip and one other, I made for her.)
Nichols explains All Hallow’s Eve as the great Celtic New Year’s festival, Samhain, signifying the end of summer, end of autumn, end of the old year and beginning of the new. Stonehenge, I think, would be the perfect setting. Check out the interactive ariel view using the preceding link.
@ Why’s October my favorite month and the Fall, my favorite season? Blasted heat finally breaks in the Mississippi Delta fields. Snow-like streams of cotton bolls, blown out of rolling bins pulled by tractors toward the gin, line the roadways. Turning leaves, like the startling golden maple at the intersection of Van Buren and University Avenue in Oxford,
the new school year with it’s football and marching bands, and signals
foreshadowing what we call the holiday season . . .
inextricably bound with pagan elements. They are there, if one will pause and look.
October 31st conjures up memories of Halloween Carnivals in Culkin School’s gymnasium that would be documented if only the Vicksburg Post’s
archives truly were online. Inside the gym, booths were set-up with
what Mary and I thought were the largest sheets of paper (newsprint) we
would ever see; and the long swirling magical orange and black crepe
paper streamers, those we longed to touch and even smell. The old
wooden gym, every inch painted blue and white for the Wildcats, came
alive during Carnival evening, with chatter of children parading as
witches, devils, scarecrows and skeletons (nothing about TV shows or
movies); the buzz of hovering parents; the smiles and laughter of
teachers and school volunteers exchanging coins in what would prove to
be a significant fundraising event for the school. Mary and I
discovered apples to bob, stuffed animals to buy, cupcakes and popcorn
balls to munch, fortunes to be told, costume contests to win, cakewalks to walk, bingo to play and darts to throw. (Cakewalk on YouTube)
Miss
Louise and her senior class students operated the dart throw way back
in the far corner of the basketball court. It was placed out of the
heaviest stream of Carnival goers, and safer, should the throw of any
juvenile dart expert go astray. It was my job to help her set up
earlier in the afternoon before the actual fun began. She'd have me
blow up balloons and separate the prizes into stacks. In her sweater
pocket, she'd save one or two behind for my reward.
What of my father, "Pop Sullivan," as he was known? During his years
as a school district administrator, he made announcements and thanked
the volunteers and patrons, as he called them. Well, I must admit . . .
the truth is, he just totally ran the whole damn thing. The community
loved him, no matter what I thought.
Those are the reasons I love October, and on that note, time to
prepare for the annual show about to begin this evening, just down the
street right here in San Francisco's Castro. I do wonder what Miss
Lousie and Pop would have thought had they lived to see the carnival in
my neighborhood . . .
(Three Witches Hard Cider Image)
(British National Heritage Trust Tourism Photo)
Posted by BettyS @ 6:00 AM, 10/31/05
Single Again on Valentine's Day
Single Again on Valentine's Day
February 14, 2008
Truth is, I've been so busy working on fabulous events that writing blog entries has taken a back seat. But, what wonderful things we have coming up. Check our the new At-A-Glance listing of what all we have to look forward to:
Betty's List Quick*E / At-A-Glace
Now comes time to republish below my favorite statement, originally written in 2006, about what Valentine's Day means to me. Quoth the Raven: "Nevermore!" Salute!
February 14, 2006
It’s Okay-To-Be-Ha . . .
Single Again, on Valentines Day!
A professor I once knew said he was one of the original members of the popular 60s rock band called Paul Revere & The Raiders.
He also got my attention by telling a story about what often happens
when you mispronounce the name of the place where you are.
The college town where I met him was located in Oktibbeha (ok-TIB-uh-hah) County,
Mississippi. There are more than a few place names in my home state
derived from words in the language of the Choctaw Native American
Indians.
It seems this new-in-town professor had created much
merriment among the locals by saying the county name as Okay-To-Be-Ha,
and thinking the chief of the tribe must have been trying to tell a
visitor that it is Okay-To-Be-Here.
I’ve not been able to verify
his claim to rock band fame, but his story has stayed with me and comes
again this Valentines Day . . . when I find myself . . . still
single? . . . in the Castro? . . . on Valentines Day?
You
bet! Not everyone in my neighborhood is rushing around passionately
trying to exercise their rights to same-sex marriage. There are some of
us, in fact, who just won’t settle until Ms. or Mr. Right comes along,
if he or she ever does . . .
. . . and some who
actually wish that the future of our Civil Rights didn’t rest on how
this issue falls off the fence . . . although many won't admit it
in public, so strong is the peer pressure (1) to want to be in a
couple, and (2) to want to participate in an outdated non-secular
institution (my words) and have it sanctioned by the state . . .
I've
heard all the arguments about equal access, but I'll never truly
understand why my commitment and belief in long-term monogamous
relationships is somehow questioned if I don't want to call it marriage.
Now,
how do you recognize her or him when the right one comes along? They
say you will “just know.” But, I don’t know about that either. I’ve
been totally convinced more than once that I “just knew” she had
arrived only to find out how deeply into "ir-reality" I could be.
In
the final assessment, I don't believe finding connection is about
running around trying to find Mr. or Ms. Right . . . looking for her or
him in 'all the wrong places' with no context other than a
cocktail. And, no, I cannot say I never tried.
It’s about
just letting things be, and knowing they are as they are suppose to be.
It's about enjoying being with yourself and all the things you love to
do and be and the good friends who share triumphs, joys and sadness
when they come. It's about participating in community and thereby
attaining context and hope of an actual relationship that dares to be
healthy. It's about recognizing that a good friendship just might be
most valuable relationship of all.
Have I made mistakes? Some I
cannot change and always will regret. Have I learned anything along the
way? One would only hope, yet what I do with that knowledge remains to
be seen.
These are my thoughts and secrets of being . . . of
being Okay-To-Be-Ha on Valentines Day and on every day, no matter what
the calendar says.
(Pompidou Center Photo) Added by BettyS @ 5:00 PM
The Cat Peed on the Keyboard . . .
January 1, 2008
The Cat Peed On the Keyboard . . . Or,
A Glass Half Full on New Year's Day
Roll out of bed and find the computer. That's true on most days. Check the telephones and get underway.
Happy . . . New Year's Day!
But, something's not right: “n” gives an “m” and not just one, but many . . . “mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm . . .” and so it goes.
Restart the software. No change. Restart the computer. No change. Troubleshooting, this seems familiar and it looks like keyboard weirdness. Once in a while, something like water or Diet Coke has been spilled on the keyboard . . . either by the big guy, Mr. Louie-The-Great - who is known to turn things over and sometimes sends e-mail out, mid-sentence before it is ready; or, by me in my own clumsiness.
However, just a few hours prior, everything was fine, working well and no liquid was left out when the computer said goodnight.
Troubleshooting. Take the corner of a business card and run it along between a row of keys. Sure enough. There's moisture . . . and cat hair. The cat hair is not a surprise. But, how did moisture get in there?
I think one of them, either Mr. Louie or Miss Frances, must have peed on the keyboard. That's a great start for 2008, isn't it? Plus, I will not be happy if I can't get online today. The thought of why that new spare one hasn't yet been ordered from Apple comes to mind.
What store is open today that might sell keyboards? Nothing? Can I get online to order one for delivery? Probably not. Might . . . just might there be an old one down in the laundry/storage room that would work? Go see.
Well, here I sit typing. Not one but two new keyboards are now on order with an expedite delivery request. This glass is not half empty. It is half full. I called and told my friend about this. She laughed and ask me if it smelled. I told her I did not try to smell the keyboard and would not because it is now in the trash. She laughed a lot and hung up the phone.
The mantra for the year 2008: The cat might pee on the keyboard, so be sure you have a spare.
Saying Goodbye . . . Legacy of 2007
December 31, 2007
Saying Goodbye . . . Legacy of 2007
I knew this one had been a difficult year, at least for me personally it surely was. Now comes waves of global sadness following the death of Pakistani leader Benazir Bhutto. I never knew I would even care in the least about her nation.
May we all remember her and the unmitigated dedication to freedom for her people that she stood for. May we all remember her name and what it means for all time to come.
I was already deeply moved by this woman and news accounts of her life’s work and tragic death. Then, I saw there the year 1953 noted for her birth, the same year as my own. How it is, the question is begged, that I can continue to live and she cannot? Then, just today, I saw her young son called upon too soon to assume leadership.
How frail are we standing on the stage, and how quick the candle is stuffed out.
Living every day, experiencing every encounter with another as though this may be our last . . . That is my hope for each step going forward as the old year ends so sadly, and a new year is begun. My toast at midnight will be a memorial one in honor of Bhutto.
Then, I am reminded of the Hopi poem sent to me by Trevor Hailey's sister, here in this year when in June we lost Trevor, friend of the Castro, and in December, we lost Bhutto, friend of the world.
A Hopi Prayer
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamonds glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle Autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry:
I am not there; I did not die.
Added by BettyS 1:00 AM
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Past Entries
- Barefootin'
4/1/2009 - January's Come In with a Bang Thus Far . . .
1/27/2009 - Ladies Night @ Orson
1/10/2009 - Olde Year Out, Adieu! Adieu! – Welcome Now The New! The New!
12/31/2008 - Gratitude & Wishes At Christmas Eve & Hanukkah
12/24/2008 - Dissenting Voices on Election Day
11/3/2008 - Halloween Revisited
10/31/2008 - Single Again on Valentine's Day
2/14/2008 - The Cat Peed on the Keyboard . . .
1/2/2008 - Saying Goodbye . . . Legacy of 2007
12/31/2007 - A Toast to Reno and the 45th Annual "Fun Train" . . . Or
12/26/2007 - How I Spent Thanksgiving II
12/9/2007 - How I Spent Thanksgiving
12/8/2007 - Unbelievable . . . And So It Goes
11/12/2007 - Ladies Night at MECCA Is Back!
11/2/2007 - My Old Cat, Miss Frances Calico
10/16/2007 - Out from Mississippi . . . Presented at the Memorial for Trevor Hailey
10/6/2007 - Why Do I Love the Pumpkins?
10/1/2007 - Now There Is a Lava Lamp Over My Head
9/16/2007 - May the Goddess Bless Mrs. Audrey Kinzer
9/13/2007 - Should I Not Support Hillary Clinton . . .
8/11/2007 - Live Earth Concerts
7/8/2007 - Showing My True Colors . . .
7/2/2007 - Lamentations Sometimes . . .
6/9/2007 - Mongolian Vodka, May & Masturbation Month
5/12/2007 - Of Birthdays, Birthdays and More Birthdays!
4/29/2007 - When Unexpected Friendship Comes . . .
4/15/2007 - Megablogging on the Day of Hunky Jesus
4/8/2007 - There Is No Map for Where We Go . . .
3/25/2007 - Time To Be Irish, Again
3/12/2007 - How I Got My Sore Ribcage
3/1/2007 - How I Told My Brother That I'd Be Working with Team GV
2/24/2007 - Natalie Says She's Ready to Make Nice
2/16/2007 - Kitty Rose on My Mind
2/11/2007 - Betty Says: GO BEARS!!!
2/4/2007 - Molly Ivins, Texas & "The Dildo Diaries"
2/3/2007 - Don't Know Much About . . . Horses
1/29/2007 - Seek Joy! Joy in the Morning! Joy at Night!
1/28/2007 - Don't Often Write About Celebrities
1/19/2007 - Words to Remember When Working with Gay Men
1/16/2007 - Abundance in the Window
1/13/2007 - Is Betty a Lesbian?
1/9/2007 - So Many Women, So Little Time
1/6/2007 - Starting the Year Off with A Rant
1/4/2007 - Mississippi & Castro Memories on the Night Before
12/24/2006 - Christmas Memories from Round About Culkin
12/19/2006 - 'Tis the Season, Isn't It?
12/15/2006 - She Sang at Least Six Verses to Us
12/7/2006 - "I.M.P.E.A.C.H." Bush!" Signs Outside the SaveMart Arena
11/23/2006 - Maybe I Do Act Like a Teenager About Them
11/12/2006 - Yes, It's True That I Like to Write
11/10/2006 - Juneau What I Mean About Losing Stuff?
11/5/2006 - When Disappointment Becomes Disbelief and Then Some
11/1/2006 - It's Almost Halloween Again . . .
10/25/2006 - Miss Louise Might Be Turning Over in Her Grave
10/13/2006 - Peaks So High, They Touch the Hands of . . . the Goddess
9/24/2006 - Seeking Another Filthy / Gorgeous Ghetto Princess
9/4/2006 - Upon My Return from Brokeback Mountain
9/2/2006 - Sometimes I Am Easily Amused
8/27/2006 - And So It Goes . . . There Go the Pickles
8/25/2006 - Neither Storm of Night, nor Terrorists, nor Cancellations . . .
8/20/2006 - You'll Never Bike Alone
8/15/2006 - When Love Manifests Itself in Friendship . . .
8/5/2006 - January - June, 2006
7/12/2006 - St. Patrick's Day - 2006
3/17/2006 - Single Again on Valentine's Day
2/14/2006 - 2006 Archive
1/1/2006 - 2005 Entries
12/31/2005 - Beauty & The Beast
12/30/2005
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