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NOTE FROM BETTY: You may have noticed that Sarah's name does not appear in the header above. This is a "site architecture" problem that we are working on and we apologize for the inaccuracy and inconvenience. Sabrina Bertrand originated this column several years ago. The column is now authored by Sarah Deragon. Thank you for your patience! - Betty
How to Find Your Roommate . . . or Not!
By Sarah Deragon
As I stood in my roommate’s emptied room, searching for nail holes or scratches on the floor that might necessitate my landlord taking money out of her deposit, it came to me that the subject of roommates would be the perfect focus for my next column.
Having roommates is a necessary evil if you live in San Francisco and are post-high school pre-six-figure job. Roommates come in all shapes and sizes; even significant others frequently fall into the category of “roommate” from time to time. If you’ve just moved to the city, or are in the process of doing so, your frantic search for a roommate on Craigslist has probably begun. I want to wish those searching for roommates on Craigslist good luck, as doing the roommate shuffle is difficult, arduous, time consuming and most often, frustrating.
I speak from personal experience! Two of my roommates just moved out and I did several postings in order to find new amazing people. The roommate search took wayyyyy longer than I expected and, therefore, I have some tips for roommate searches.
• Thoroughly Read The Ad Before Replying To It - I put in several small quirky requests like “What is your favorite breakfast cereal?” or “What do you put on top of a hot fudge sundae?” at the bottom of the ad to make sure that people were actually reading it. I expect my roommates to be literate and attentive to the details. What if my new roommate cleans the way she reads ads? A CL posting scanner would probably just do a quick wipe down on the gross bathroom sink while, someone who read the entire ad would scrub with Comet til the tile shined. Honestly, I’d pick the scrubber every time.
• Not Interested? Say So Sooner Rather Than Later - If you see an apartment and aren’t interested in it, or don’t click with the current roommates, be honest, as soon as possible. I can’t tell you how many people took applications (implicating me in the senseless murder of more trees), told me how great the apartment was and then never called back. One girl with OCD came to see the place, stepped into the kitchen and said “This apartment would drive me insane because there’re too many cabinets, too much organizational potential.” Did I mention she worked at the Container Store? Perfect, right?
• Truth In Advertising - Do your best to truthfully represent yourself in the e-mail, but keep it short and sweet. I was more likely to respond to ads that gave me a quick overview of who they are and what they did. Some even included photos, which I appreciated, but don’t think is necessary. Attach a photo only if it is recent and represents you. For example, a guy e-mailed me about the apartment on several occasions and attached a photo of him out with his boys, standing next to two hot chicks. I met him and we just didn’t click. Going back to the photo later I realized how deceiving it was because he seems to be towering over these two girls, but, in reality he was only 5’2”. Now, I don’t have an issue living with a short hetero man . . . well, wait, scratch that – maybe I do. Be honest about who you are when seeking roommates too. When I would meet a potential roommate, I would tell them all about my activism, graduate school and community organizing. Living with me isn’t just having a “queer” roommate, which is cool for some straight people. I am “big gay” – my life is about working for and with this community and most of my friends are “big gay,” too.
• Open Houses - I just want to assure all of those apartment hunters that open houses hurt us just as much as it does you. I had to hold several open houses the past month or so and it is exhausting to meet new people and do the same spiel over and over again. Bring a friend with you as they will see things you won’t and can help you make a decision about the apartment and new potential roommates.
• Other Apartment Must-Haves in San Francisco (Create a list of the most important to you, here is my list)
• Dishwasher - I’m over 30 now and therefore, I refuse to wash silverware and most of the dishes in the sink.
• Laundry - Either in the building or super close, so you don’t have to cart your dirty knickers all over the city.
• Light/Windows - Don’t accept one of those quirky SF apartments where your only window looks out on to the wall next door . . . or worse, right into your neighbor’s bedroom.
• Hardwood Floors - Plenty of apartments in the city have them, hold out, carpet is gross . . . especially if there are animals living there.
• Space Heater - If your apartment has centralized heat, then you’re lucky because most of us put our little space heater on high in the chilly winters, especially true if living in a drafty Victorian like I do.
• Big Hot Water Heater/Water Pressure – I’m a sucker for a good shower and having strong water pressure is of the utmost importance for me to start my day.
• Fan in the Bathroom - There should be some sort of sound barrier for when you have to do your business!
• Separate Leases - All of the roommates in my apt have separate leases with the landlord, which I think is brilliant. That way, none of us are fully financially responsible for the others.
• Noise Levels - Be very attentive to the noise levels in your room, as it could be the difference between a comfortable night’s sleep and insomnia. Do your windows face onto a busy street? Is there a bar just around the corner?
• Cleanliness Levels - I judge this a few ways when going on an apartment search: ask to use their bathroom, look around the kitchen for unnecessary food stains, pay attention to weird smells and ask a lot of questions.
Of course, I could list a ton of other things to pay attention to, but this should get you started.
Thankfully, my search ended last week when I found the second of two very nice white girls.
So, what do I have to look forward to now? I can only venture to guess, but I am grateful that these two girls appear to be healthy, happy and normal. (Of course, “healthy / happy / normal” are highly subjective and problematic terms) I still wonder, how do you judge a potential roommates level of cleanliness (or quirkiness) in the span of a 30-minute chat at an open house? I trust my gut with these two new roommates, but only time will tell.
Here’s to the worst and best roommate you’ve ever had because as most of us know, living in the city pretty much necessitates co-habitation with total strangers!
Bio & Past Articles
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Betty's List New in Town
Columnist Sarah Deragon.
Meet Sarah Deragon -
Sarah
Deragon was born and raised in Denver, Colorado and considers herself a
“meat and potatoes” kind of girl. She’s been living in San Francisco
since 2006 and currently resides in the newish neighborhood called
NoPa. Her special talents include making fantastic greeting cards,
x-ray vision, baking chocolate mayonnaise cake, community organizing,
reading five books simultaneously, and bossing people around. As a
double Aquarius, she’s got a huge heart and finds endless time/energy
to organize events for the women’s community and hopes one day to end
heteronormativity. She is excited to be the voice of the “newcomer” for
Betty’s List website. Sarah currently works for the Frameline Film
Festival and is attempting to finish up her MA in Social and Cultural
Anthropology, while also helping to run a radical lesbian feminist
consciousness raising group and maintain some semblance of a
relationship with her lover.
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